Friday, October 21, 2011

A letter.

Dear Friend,

I know exactly where my thoughts are, and I am stuck in it. I am overcome with lust, and I am not sure how to handle it. I want to release, but I want company. I do not want to just be here by myself, I want to feel love given off by someone else, I want connection. Here I am, in my head wanting you by my side knowing full well you are taken. It bothers me, and I don't know what to do about it. I see other women and I don't want anything to do with them, but I feel as if I must. I don't see any glimmer of love, or even a shade of wanting them, and yet I will still pursue, just so I am not alone for every waking minute. And yet, all I want is you in my arms again. To hold you, for you to hold me. I am stuck...I want you to be happy and have what you desire, I know you don't feel that way for me, so what now? I can't stand forming commitment with anyone else, and I don't want just sex. I want to bring you pleasure, I want to bring you comfort, and security and all other forms of joy. I thought if I had my life together, I would be better off, but this feeling doesn't go away.... I believe that if they do exist, you are my soul mate. I will stand by you through all times, I feel a connection to you that never falters, no matter what emotion it is. Hearing your voice sing always gave me goosebumps and shivers down my spine. I can remember all the good times, and all the bad, and still I stand here waiting. I don't want to be alone....but I am alone when you aren't by my side. I know that I am not perfect, I know that I can be overbearing, I don't want to be...I want to be the man that use to make you feel safe, with nothing to worry about. You always worry, but everything will be okay, even if you aren't hand in hand with me.

With Love,

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