Well this week kinda of sucked for me getting better at programming...started to get a good thing going, and then my laptop screen died because of damn accidental dropping of it >.> So with my computer out of service I haven't really been focusing on programming.
Today I cleaned up the front yard, and cleaned up some of the back as well. I decided last week to clean my room, and since that is pretty much done, I decided to move on to a different room, and threw out an old twin bed and started to clean out the upstairs porch.
Tomorrow I will continue to clean it up, and see if I can get the shit thats laying around to cease to exist. Also think I will continue to work outside if I have the time.
I also was going to start working out again, but haven't gotten that started either.
So yeah, poetry will come when I feel up to it, thought I'd actually have a blog entry for a change.
Life isn't bad, just lonely, figure if I can keep myself moving, I won't have as much time to think about waking up alone and having no plans to be taken. I am not interested in meeting a new girl. I like getting physical too early to actual form a real relationship without fucking things up. Even if I wanted to just get laid, I don't want anyone to feel used so I can just get off. And if I went out of my way and form a relationship with somoene, I cannot deny that I am already in love with someone. Love is complicated, but I would rather dream of someone and wake up alone, then wake up next to someone I feel no love for.
Sigh, I don't want to be alone anymore though....I don't know what I will do, but until then, distractions are needed. One day, I will most likely get lonely enough, and fuck someone just for a release, but I loathe the idea of being with anyone that isn't her.
I guess more distraction is needed, I wish I could get to Japan and help out, but alas I cannot even help myself. Maybe over the summer...who knows if I would come back though.